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Plucked ever so lovingly from the bathshit insane vine of Crazy Tits’ twitter feed, the “100% lesbian” famewhore decided that she was going to go on Twitter and say that she’s going to rape her boyfriend. She probably didn’t mean actual, rape, but if she at least saisd she did, can we throw her in jail forever? Oh, pwetty, pwetty pweeeeeeeeease?

Goodnight everyone!!! He’s getting grumpy but imma rape this fool anyway! Im already on top of him!!! LOLOLOL see u tomorrow! POW! xox

This muthefucker better make me a baby when I rape his ass while eating a pizza, riding him and tweeting all at the same time! RAPE!!! LOL (Source)

Yes, I think we can pretty much sum up all of Crazy Tits’ views, opinions and general personality on the last two words alone: “RAPE!!! LOL” Because you know, being sexually assaulted by someone? A laugh riot! I can’t wait for Disney’s The Princess and the Rape, which according to CT is going to be THE feel-good family movie of the year.
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Baywatch is coming to the big screen!!

The movie, which insiders are comparing to the screen adaptations of Charlie’s Angels and Police Academy, will be centered around the female members of the lifeguard squad – Baywatch, which starred David Hasselhoff, Yasmeen Bleeth and Pamela Anderson, ran on TV from 1989 to 1999 and rumours are going around that everyone will return for the movie version.

Baywatch: The Movie is expected to hit theaters next summer…
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Ashley Tisdale is confirmed to star in a spin-off movie based on her High School Musical character Sharpay Evans!!

The 24-year-old actress will shoot, Sharpay’s Fabulous Adventures later this summer with the Disney Channel movie coming-out in 2011.

I can hear Disney fans all over the world screaming!!
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“While circus freaks Evan Rachel Wood and Marilyn Manson left a restaurant last night in LA , the female half of the relationship wore a ring on its all-important finger … and just to clear that up, in case there was any confusion, it was Wood sporting the bling, not Manson.

The two started dating back in December of 2006 when Wood was just a mere twenty years old; Manson is twenty years her senior. The two had a ridiculously tumultuous relationship involving blood, gore, cutting and obsession and split in 2008. Although Wood claimed her relationship with Manson was “healthy and loving”, Manson went overboard with the dramatics of the breakup and admitted to cutting himself with broken glass in order to alleviate his psychosis pain. He also filmed a music video which portrayed a Wood look-alike being tortured and slaughtered after their breakup. After their split, he also admitting his unwavering desire in “smashing in her skull with a sledgehammer.”

In January 2010, the two confirmed rumors that they were back together and up until the two being spotted in public with an engagement ring, the idea remained speculation.”

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“Tell me, is there honestly anything funnier than someone falling on their ass?

Hah. I thought not.

Fergie takes the stage at a show in Kansas city last night and girlfriend hits the deck like a load of wet laundry while performing. She’s always been the very graceful, ladylike performer and I can expect nothing less from someone clearly as “clumsy” as I happen to be. I just love her. She falls on (and off) stage, she pees herself — she’s totally someone I could get down with. ”

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“And she’s trying her best to follow in Mama’s footsteps by launching her very own career in the entertainment industry.

Naturally, Madonna has some pull pretty much everywhere in the world, not just in third world countries or with 19 year-old male models, so she’s set out to secure daughter Lourdes a “small role” in an upcoming film that the Queen of Pop has another hand in. The film is based on the life of Edward VIII.

This is a total change of pace for the protective Madonna — she wouldn’t even allow Lourdes to take part in a Harry Potter flick in 2007 — one that Lourdes not only auditioned for, but had received the role.

Sources close to Madonna state that she’s finally “ready” to allow Lourdes into show business and has scrupulously molded her in the best way she can over the past few years.

All I know is that Lourdes is one fierce chick and if she’s anything like her mother, we’re going to see a lot of this girl in the coming years. ”
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Tim Burton’s on this whole fairy tale kick as of late and while both Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and Alice in Wonderland were kind of “eh” in my opinion, I am all about what’s rumored to be his next project: Maleficent. And guess who’s might be playing the lead? The only person who could, of course: Angelina Jolie.

Maleficent! Remember that bitch? The evil fairy godmother from Sleeping Beauty? Burton wants to re-tell the classic story from her point of view. Now you know that that’s going to be off the chain. It’s been a minute since I’ve seen a big-budget movie staring a kick-ass female and look at the Disney version of the same character from years ago:

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Ke$sha looks like John Travolta in the face…..and in the crotch too, probably. DAMN TO THE FUCK! How am I going to watch Grease without picturing Danny Zuko barfing in Parasite Hilton’s closet or licking Mick Jagger’s asshole (Ed note: That probably happened in real life).

This must be some kind of Scientology trap, because I’d be willing to go through a week of Tommy Girl’s Booty Camp in order to unsee that image. I didn’t mean that, Scientologists. Please don’t come beating on my front or back door.

Anyway, here’s more of John Travolta’s secret love child with a sewer rat dipping her never-ending crotch in Bondi Beach today.

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“Where’s your basket, bitch?

Tila Tequila was photographed earlier yesterday “shopping” at a local grocery store and by “shopping” I mean “hamming it up for the paparazzi [again] while scantily-clad and lookin’ like a ho.”

You know, just doing what she does best.

I sure hope that there’s no truth to those pregnancy rumors … those tits melons sure are some heavy lifting.”
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